10 Conyo-mandments, Konyo ka ba?

10 Conyo-mandments

1. Thou shall make gamit "make+pandiwa".
ex. "Let's make pasok na to our class!"
"Wait lang! I'm making kain pa!"
"Come on na, we can't make hintay anymore! It's in Andrew pa, you know?"

2. Thou shall make kalat "noh", "diba" and "eh" in your pangungusap.
ex. "I don't like to make lakad in the baha nga, no? Eh diba it's like, so eew, diba?"
"What ba: stop nga being maarte noh?"
"Eh as if you want naman also, diba?"

3. When making describe a whatever, always say "It's SO pang-uri!"
ex. "It's so malaki, you know, and so mainit!"
"I know right? So sarap nga, eh!"
"You're making me inggit naman.. I'll make bili nga my own burger."

4. When you are lalaki, make parang punctuation "dude", 'tsong" or "pare"
ex. "Dude, ENGANAL is so hirap, pare."
"I know, tsong, I got bagsak nga in quiz one, eh"

5. Thou shall know you know? I know right!
ex. "My bag is so bigat today, you know"
"I know, right! We have to make dala pa kasi the jumbo Physics book eh!"

6. Make gawa the plural of pangngalans like in English or Spanish.
ex. "I have so many tigyawats, oh!"

7. Like, when you can make kaya, always use like. Like, I know right?
ex. "Like, it's so init naman!"
"Yah! The aircon, it's, like sira!"

8. Make yourself feel so galing by translating the last word of your sentence, you know, your pangungusap?
ex. "Kakainis naman in the LRT! How plenty tao, you know, people?"
"It's so tight nga there, eh, you know, masikip?"

9. Make gamit of plenty abbreviations, you know, daglat?"
ex. "Like, OMG! It's like traffic sa LRT"
"I know right? It's so kaka!"
"Kaka?"
"Kakaasar!"

10. Make gamit the pinakamaarte voice and pronunciation you have para full effect!
ex. "I'm, like, making aral at the Arrhneo!"
"Me naman, I'm from Lazzahl!"

I'm 38% Virgin ^_^

Here's the deal... Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done. Don't bother typing answers to the question....it makes it more interesting! The lower the score means the nastier you are.
Then repost as _% Virgin

1. Smoked?
2. Drank alcohol?
3. Cried when someone died?
4. Been drunk?
5. Had sex?
6. Been to a concert?
7. Given a handjob/gotten a handjob?
8. Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob?
9. Been verbally/sexually harassed?
10. Verbally/sexually harassed somebody?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 90%

11. Felt someone up and/or been felt up?
12. Laughed so hard something came out of your nose?
13. Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before?
14. Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend?
15. Been to prom?
16. Cried at school?
17. Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store?
18. Went streaking?
19. Given or received a lap dance?
20. Had someone of the opposite sex in your room?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 82%

21. Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over?
22. Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house?
23. Kissed a stranger?
24. Hugged a stranger?
25. Went scuba diving?
26. Driven a car?
27. Gotten an x-ray?
28. Hit by a car?
29. Had a party?
30. Done serious drugs?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 76%

31. Played strip poker/darts?
32. Got paid to strip for someone?
33. Ran away from home?
34. Broken a bone?
35. Eaten sushi?
36. Bought porn?
37. Watched porn?
38. Made porn?
39. Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
40. Been in love?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 71%

41. French kissed?
42. Laughed so hard you cried?
43. Cried yourself to sleep?
44. Laughed yourself to sleep?
45. Stabbed yourself?
46. Shot a gun?
47. Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day?
48. Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours?
49. Been online for 9 consecutive hours?
50. Watched an animal die?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 64%

51. Watched a person die?
52. Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present?
53. Pranked somebody?
54. Put somebody in the hospital?
55. Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out?
56. Kissed somebody of the same sex?
57. Dressed punk?
58. Dressed goth?
59. Dressed preppy?
60. Been to a motocross race?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 61%

61. Avoided somebody?
62. Been stalked?
63. Stalked someone?
64. Met a celebrity?
65. Played an instrument?
66. Ridden a horse?
67. Cut yourself?
68. Bungee jumped?
69. Ding dong ditched somebody?
70. Been to a wild party?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 55%

71. Got caught stealing something?
72. Kicked a guy in the balls?
73. Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend?
74. Went out with your friend's crush?
75. Got arrested?
76. Been pregnant?
77. Babysat?
78. Been to another country?
79. Started your house on fire?
80. Had an encounter with a ghost?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 51%

81. Donated your hair to cancer patients?
82. Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by?
83. Cried over a member of the opposite sex?
84. Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months?
85. Sat on your butt all day?
86. Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself?
87. Had a job?
88. Gotten cut from a sports team?
89. Been called a whore?
90. Danced like a whore?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 44%

91. Been mistaken for a celebrity?
92. Been in a car accident?
93. Been told you have beautiful eyes?
94. Been told you have beautiful hair?
95. Raped somebody?
96. Danced in the rain?
97. Been rejected?
98. Walked out of a restaurant without paying?
99. Punched someone/slapped someone in the face?
100. Been raped?

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 38%

Cruel Algebra of Love

According to an internet counter on one website dedicated to roughly estimating the population of the Earth at any given moment, the planet is host to 6,509,409,546 people as of 3:30 p.m. eastern time, March 28, 2005. This counter increases by around three units every second, which means by the time you finish this sentence, there will be enough humans born in that miniscule duration to form a basketball team.

This raises some interesting points such as, “how do
they calculate the birth rate as opposed to the death rate arrived at three
people per second?” or “who bothers thinking this crap up?”, and most
significantly, “who will all these new humans vote for American Idol?” Enticing stuff really.

It also calls into question the validity and romance
on the One True Love. Let’s do the math.

There is six and a half billion people currently
converting oxygen. According to further statistics, three-fifths of the world’s
population is female, meaning we're already left with two and a half billion
men, to choose from. Deduct the underage boys and the extremely geriatric,
along with the married, the mentally deranged, the Catholic priests, and the
criminally violent, and you should be left with about (and I’m guessing at this
point) a billion.

As an added modifier, let’s disqualify the huge chunk
of men you will never meet anyway due to geographic, language and time
constraints. . As I find no resources to
estimate this demographic, I’m going to say you’ve still got a fair amount of
nominally sane, sperm producing males left to contemplate, and who
may reciprocally consider you as a perfect match.

So you see, the first
obstacle of serious consideration towards the possibility of the One True Love is that it literally is one-in-a-million-lottery. You have to consider the
immense amount of good fortune or, if you believe in this sort of thing,
destiny involved in finding the perfect match given the sheer magnitude of men out there. Its worst than finding a needle in a sack of needles. We got to
endure a lot of pin heads and pricks.

Now if the romantic supposition of the One True Love
was more than just a notion and was actually a watertight fact of human
existence, if by some fantastic science they are able to demonstrate that two
people are indeed meant for each other in the most biological senses, I believe that the entire human race will come to an abrupt end. On the occasion that CNN or the scientific Americans can excitedly publishes its findings that trough comprehensive DNA testing or through an accidental CAT scan of deliriously happy couple, they have discovered that
there is such a thing a the perfect match. I believe that we will be dead soon
after. Dead. Like the leaders of the Abu Sayyaf.

There are certain things that man is not supposed to
know for certain. Or better yet, there are certain things man is supposed to
earn the right to know for certain. The existence of God, the attainment of
peace, and the One True Love. These are the concepts that should never be
compromised or cheapened by convenient access, because by their very essence, they can only be realized through a process. Like jealous deities, these abstraction demand sacrifice, and diligence, and allegiance, before the miracles and bounty can be witnessed. They are the fuel and the engines of human evolution and it is not the knowledge of them that drives us, but it is
process of searching for them that makes us worthier people. The answer is only satisfying when the right question is asked.

Because it hurts like a serrated knife sawing slowly
through my shinbone when we're apart, it appears obvious, to me, that what I am suffering is a symptom of true love. Because his arms melded seamlessly
into the contour of my body, & our conversations
were almost poetic in cadence and resonance, & he smelled like freshly sharpened Mongol pencils (which happens to drive me insane with lust), I assume it must be true love.. Unfortunately, such symptoms are hardly accurate indicators of a proper diagnosis. I suffer such bouts of polarized emotions all the time; whether it’s on a date (well, kinda something like it) or when I have too much to drink. Heck, I feel I could marry this cup of coffee I’m sipping right now.

This is not to say that I'm wrong about *e%* or
whoever it may be, being the ones amongst the millions out there. It seems
evident that he must be special if "I feel that he is". And perhaps, he could
be the perfect match for me. I’m not saying that he is. Let’s just assume
that. And you know who I’m referring to. Right?

I must divert myself from such a restrictive philosophy. As I stated earlier, True Love is one of those things that has to be earned, not just discovered. We all hear stories of couples that meet in the most unexpected of circumstances, and have stayed together despite the rigors of age and senescence, and who claim to have been fortunate enough to have ended up with their kindred soul. For every wedding speech that created
these mushy anecdotes, I guarantee there are just as much as much separation statements claiming “diametrically opposed differences”. While it is certainly romantic to imagine two wandering souls finding each other amidst the ocean of possible permutations, it is so much more exhilarating to find that they worked it as well.

To return to my hypothesis that we would all drop
dead upon the conclusive discovery that there was but one person for each
person, and that we could actually find out right away, let us embark on a
disturbing fiction. Imagine a machine, like a photo booth, wherein one could
sit inside, pay a couple thousands of pesos, and have the computer within
analyze the participant through x-rays or whatnot, and within five minutes
print out a picture of his One True Love complete with his email address and
the best time to instant message him. Out of nagging curiosity, and against my better judgment, I probably would take the damn test. But a smarter person would refuse.

Because all the poetry and art and communal progress
that we, as a race, have achieve thus far, will unravel when Marc Ace is
supposed to be with %E*#. I knew it. Deep down inside, at
the bosom of our personal hells, we all knew it.

I believe in true love, but not necessarily a One
True Love that exist independently on our influence. That would be an
unbelievably a cruel algebra. I think the mathematics of singularity, while
romantic beyond description and enthusiasm reserved for unique situations. But requisite to that I believe that everybody should be able to love again with the same ardor, even with a different person. Circumstances beyond our control will occasionally determine whether or not we can be with a person, such as my secret love that is not a secret anymore (do you want me to divulge it again? my name is.... R*** ( clear commercial)). If we order ourselves to a force we cannot control, we risk crippling our ability to assimilate and enjoy future experiences, sometimes permanently.

To bring this rambling article to concise summation,
we have to be optimistic about what we are going through, regardless of how
bleak it may seem. Perhaps, there is such a thing as one person per person, but that is a matter of personal philosophy best exercise by loving him the
best as I can, while I can. In the end, having a healthy, fruitful
relationship with another is simply a reflection of how much I'm having a
healthy, fruitful relationship with myself.

One day. Hopefully, even I will settle down and end
up with the person I love, not because was engineered by fate or biology to be my perfect match, but because we both worked at it. Or because of a potent viral epidemic wipes out every other man on the planet, making me the last virile male specimen in an Amazonian island of double X chromosomes. In which case I refuse to be selfish with my love.

What sadness is?

Is it an emotion? Is it a fact? have experienced it at one time or another- in times of illness, loss, fear, stress, disappointment - as an emotional state brought on by circumstances. My life is on a perpetual edge of sadness.

I feel it lurking around every corner, crouching in the shadows. I wear sadness like a second skin, or at times I feel it sweeping over them like a suffocating wave. Even if I appear upbeat and happy, it is ...always present, a vaguely perceived mist in the distance.

List of 10 Best Famous Love Quotes

1) "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." - Mother Teresa

2) "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring."

- Oscar Wilde

3) "Love doesn't sit there like a stone. It has to be made like bread; remade all the time,...made new."

- Le Guin

4) "To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it."

- Samuel Butler

5) "What we need to know about loving is no great mystery. We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it. Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight. We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy. It's we who make it complicated."

- Leo Buscaglia

6) "Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love." - Erich Fromm

7) "Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away."

- Elbert Hubbard

8) "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret; it is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye."

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

9) "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage."

- Lao Tzu

10) "I have learned not to worry about love;

But to honor its coming with all my heart."

- Alice Walker

Tips on how to get a good night’s sleep

There are some habits that can stop you from sleeping well, and others which may help you sleep better. You may hear people call this advice “good sleep hygiene.” Some research shows that following this advice can help some people sleep better.

• Do some exercise during the day, but not right before you go to sleep.
• Avoid eating a large meal just before you go to bed.
• Avoid tobacco and drinks that contain caffeine or alcohol for a few hours before bedtime. (Alcohol can help you get to sleep, but it may cause you to wake up later and stop you from getting back to sleep.)
• If you find you need to go to the bathroom in the night and can’t get back to sleep afterward, try to avoid drinking any fluids for a couple of hours before bedtime.
• Only go to bed when you feel sleepy, and not just because you think it’s time for bed.
• Use the bedroom just for sleeping and having sex. Don’t use it to read, watch television, eat or work.
• Try to keep your room cool and quiet.
• If you can’t sleep after about 15 or 20 minutes, then get up and go to another room. Try reading with a fairly dim light. Don’t watch television, as this gives off bright light, which may stimulate you rather than help you relax. Only go back to bed when you feel sleepy.
• Get up at the same time every morning, whether you feel rested or not.
• Try not to nap during the day. But if you feel very tired, nap for no longer than 30 minutes in the afternoon.

Boundaries For You & Your Guy

Introduction

Have you ever skipped going to the health club one day because you just absolutely had no motivation to get all sweaty and tired? Or what about gorging on a half-gallon of ice cream to cope with your stress? Ever leave the mall wondering what the heck you were thinking maxing out your credit card? Do you work more hours at your job than need be? These are situations where a boundary violation of the self has occurred and we’ve all been there.

Boundaries are the limits we set around ourselves to keep safe, centered, and accountable. They are usually drawn from our values and they define who we are and what we will and won’t accept in our lives to keep our integrity and well-being intact. The more aligned our behavior is with our defined boundaries, the more balance and harmony we tend to experience in our lives. When we act outside the confines of our boundaries, our self-esteem can take a hit and we actually can create a whole host of other stressors that will disrupt us and leave us feeling badly and out-of-integrity. It is human nature to stumble outside our boundaries from time to time, but when it becomes a way of life, underlying issues may be at play that will require some attention and intervention to avoid ongoing conflicts in one’s life.

Not only do we have self-imposed boundaries, but boundaries also pertain to our relationships. A healthy relationship is comprised of two men with a solid sense of self and identity. Boundaries help protect the partners of a couple from abuse or outside influences of others. They help create a sense of security in the partnership, allowing safe communication of needs and feelings between the partners that helps to solidify a positive connection and intimacy. Boundaries help cement what is deemed appropriate and inappropriate conduct both within and outside the context of being a couple and help to define who you are and what you stand for as life partners.

Boundaries & Relationship Types

Here’s an illustration as to why boundaries are important to your relationship. Take out a piece of paper. At the top of the page, draw two circles on opposite sides of the page. This represents the type of relationship where the couple identifies themselves as a pair, however they have little connection with each other and live parallel lives with minimal contact, sharing, or interaction that would support an intimate commitment. This relationship exhibits boundaries that are too strong to allow closeness and which there’s too much separateness and division between the two men. Little will grow from this except more of a “roommate feeling” and dissension. This style has too much individual identity.

In the middle of the page, draw two circles with one on top of the other. This relationship type is called enmeshed, where the couple is practically one whole. You are your partner; you live and breathe your partner with very little independence and individuality. You are merged together so completely that you lose your sense of self because you’re so fused and any perceived threat that exists to your relationship is thought of as devastating. The problem with this relationship style is that partners can feel suffocated and overly-dependent on each other; controlling behaviors are not uncommon and you can feel restricted and trapped. This style has too much couple identity.

At the bottom of the page, draw two circles that are mildly intertwined at the sides. This is a healthy relationship where the partners are slightly merged. There is a healthy balance of separateness and togetherness. The couple is flexible, honoring their uniqueness as individuals and their shared connection as partners. Because of this balance, “fresh air” is constantly being breathed into the relationship, revitalizing it and making it exciting, unlike the staleness of the former relationship type where everything is about the other person. This style works because the boundaries aren’t too rigid or loose and they take into account that healthy relationships have both individual and couple identities. This is what you want to shoot for!

Boundary Violations In Gay Relationships

We’ve talked about self-oriented boundary violations like straying from your diet or cheating on a test. Violations in your relationship with your partner can be particularly damaging, however, as they can diminish your trust in each other and cause significant conflicts and emotional distance that can tear down the foundation of commitment you’ve built. Again, it’s human to stray from our boundaries at times, but when it becomes pervasive and isn’t talked about with your partner to try and remedy it, serious consequences can arise.

Here are some examples of common boundary violations in relationships to give you a better idea of what we’re talking about:

• You drink too much at the bar with your friends and flirt with all the men near you while your partner is away on business

• Your partner pressures you to experiment with sexual practices you’re not comfortable with

• You don’t stick up for your partner when your family badmouths him

• Your partner makes other things, like work or his hobbies, more of a priority than spending quality time with you

• You don’t voice your opinions about the way you would like things to function in your relationship and then harbor feelings of resentment toward your partner when he makes all the decisions

• Your partner strays from your monogamous relationship by cheating with someone he met on the Internet

• Negativity, jealousy, passive-aggressiveness, lying, withdrawal, blaming…these are also “red flags”

And the list goes on and on! It is only a violation if either of you behave in a way that contradicts the relationship vision or mission that the two of you should have and should continue to be co-creating from the inception of your partnership. Communication of your expectations and values is critical from the very beginning of your relationship and should continue to be re-visited periodically to ensure you both are still “on the same page”. Your relationship and the players involved in it will grow and change, which is a normal part of your maturation, and you’ll need to be open to this and make revisions to your original “contract” as necessary.

Tips For Boundary-Setting Success

• As an individual, determine whether you struggle with maintaining healthy boundaries in your relationships and life in general. Difficulties with boundaries can come from many sources, including: being raised in a dysfunctional family where unhealthy boundaries were modeled, low self-esteem, lack of individual identity and codependency, poor assertiveness and social skills, being in an abusive or toxic relationship, being easily guilt-prone, having addictions of any kind, having power/control issues, getting a sense of validation for catering to a relationship partner, etc. Try to identify where your struggles with boundaries originate and keep track of what triggers your self-sabotaging behavior. Work aggressively at overcoming these personal hurdles to promote a more solid and confident sense of self.

• Take a class on assertiveness training or get some counseling to help you build skills in identifying your needs and feelings and how to directly express them without guilt or qualification.

• As a couple, plot out a relationship mission statement that specifies your values and expectations for behavioral conduct as individuals and as a couple. This becomes your “relationship contract” that will give you a structure by which to live your life with integrity and stability. Introduce spontaneity and novelty into your relationship from time to time so you don’t feel like you’re living according to a policies and procedures manual and to keep the spark alive.

• Make sure that you both define your particular boundaries around money, household management and domestics/division of labor, sex, monogamy vs. non-monogamy, parenting roles (if applicable), work, friends, family, health, spirituality, the way anger is dealt with, how you spend your time, etc. It may seem like a lot of material to cover, but the more that’s communicated will lessen the opportunity for surprise violations to occur in the future. It’s a great way to learn more about each other too and create further growth as a couple.

• Realize that you and your guy will not always see eye-to-eye on things. It will be important to recognize and appreciate your differences and have systems in place to manage disagreements (eg. fair-fight rules, taking Time-Outs when anger gets unproductive, following the problem-solving process for reaching win/win solutions, practicing forgiveness and compromise, etc.). Communication is key of course! Make sure you’re both well adept in the fine art of active listening to help pave the way toward resolution.

• Boundaries protect your relationship from outside forces as well. Should family or friends try to come between you, even if well-intentioned, always stand by your man and reinforce your commitment to each other. Don’t enable other peoples’ efforts to force their viewpoints and projections onto your relationship.

Conclusion

So whether you’re single and looking for Mr. Right or you’ve already found him, recognize the profound importance boundaries have on your well-being and quality of life. Without them, you’re left in a vulnerable position and can make poor choices that could adversely affect the course of your life. Knowing yourself and standing up for what you believe in can empower you to enjoy life to the fullest and accomplish great things in your relationships.

"Eat This, Not That!" (The Best (and Worst) Summer Barbeque Foods)

The Great American Barbecue is as much of a summer staple as the Hollywood blockbuster, the belly flop, and the farmer tan.

In fact, 71 percent of American households fire up the grill at least once a week from Memorial Day to Labor Day, which means all of us will chew our way through thousands of calories worth of grill-friendly foods.

And while a live flame can be a healthy cooking tool, the nutritional differences between a hot dog and a hamburger, a mojito and a margarita, might determine whether you fit into, or overflow, the waistline of your swimsuit this summer.

But it’s not just the main courses that demand careful consideration. The vast supporting cast of sides, drinks, and desserts that round out the BBQ menu have potentially dramatic caloric implications. Choose the wrong ones and you’ve added 300 or 400 unnecessary calories to your meal; choose the right ones and you can fill your belly, and show it off, all summer long!


Eat This:
Hot Dog with onions, relish, ketchup and mustard
270 calories
12 g fat

Hot dogs get a bad rap, but they score a resounding victory in the battle of American barbecue classics. Hot dogs benefit from two simple realities: First, the skinny bun makes for built-in portion control, which means unless you’ve fired up foot-long brats or have a penchant for chili and cheese, you’re unlikely to build a dog with more than 300 calories. Second, the traditional condiments for hot dogs — ketchup, mustard, relish, onions — are of the low-calorie variety.

Not That!
Cheeseburger with lettuce, tomatoes, onion, ketchup and mustard
600 calories
28 g fat

It may carry a fig leaf of lettuce, but it’s also overloaded with empty calories. And if you're among the half of Americans who slather their hamburger buns with mayo, you'll lump another 100 calories onto the total. Most burger meat is 20 percent fat even before you blanket it in processed cheese, so the calories add up quickly. Unless you’re willing to build your burger from 95 percent lean beef and ditch the cheese, you’re looking at 500 calories, minimum. (Go with 95 percent lean beef, though, and lose more than 20 grams of fat!)


Eat This:
Chips and Guacamole
175 calories
12 g fat

No, tortilla chips don’t beat out raw vegetables, but guacamole trounces ranch dressing (below). That’s because avocados are rich in monounsaturated fats, so they help fill your belly at the same time that they protect your heart. But make sure your guac is made from real avocados; many national-brand “guacamole dips” are made with less than 2 percent avocado. Your best bet? Make it at home; you can have a huge, crowd-pleasing batch ready in under 5 minutes. Our favorite recipe is right here.

Not That!
Veggies and ranch
200 calories
14 g fat

This ubiquitous summer appetizer is less about the vegetables and more about a sturdy delivery system to offload the ranch from bowl to mouth. Unfortunately, on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of solid nutrition, ranch registers a resounding 0. Want to make the ultimate snack? Ditch the ranch and the tortilla chips and dip your veggies in guac instead.


Eat This:
Baked Beans
150 calories
2 g fat

Beans are holders of the nutritional triple crown: They’re packed with protein and fiber, they're sultans of satiety, and they’re one of the richest sources of antioxidants on the planet. So for a mere 150 calories, you get a food that will fill your belly, rev up your metabolism, and help fend off the Reaper. Just make sure your version — whether homemade or store-bought — isn’t loaded with added sugars.

Not That!
Potato Salad
220 calories
12 g fat

Potatoes are already at the low end of the vegetable totem pole: they’re high in carbohydrates and low in fiber, which translates into a big spike in blood sugar levels. Want diabetes with that? But when you add a jar of mayonnaise to the mix, things go from bad to worse pretty quickly. Odds are that potato salad will be the most calorie-dense side dish at any barbecue you attend this year. Give it a wide berth, or grow a wider gerth.


Drink This:
Mojito
175 calories
15 g sugars

This rediscovered favorite among cocktail connoisseurs is made from fresh mint, fresh lime juice, and zero-calorie club soda. Add to that a restrained glug of rum and a teaspoon of sugar and you’re looking at one of the “healthiest” libations you’ll ever stumble across. And if you drink few enough to avoid stumbling yourself, you've solved the booze weight-gain problem.

Not That!
Margarita
500 calories
35 g sugars

Pre-made margarita mix is slime green for a reason. It’s a warning sign: Toxic spill ahead! Margarita mixes are high-fructose corn syrup with an injection of artificial lime flavoring, making them a serious threat to your beach body. If you simply must have a margi, make it a real one, with fresh lime juice, tequila, and just a touch of sugar.


Eat This:
Ice Cream Sandwich
180 calories
7 g fat
13 g sugars

If you simply must indulge your sweet tooth, do it with an ice cream sandwich. Unlike a piece of pie or a bowl of ice cream, which are dangerously undefined, size-wise, the ice cream sandwich comes in a small, pre-determined portion that rarely cracks the 200-calorie threshold.

Not That!
Apple Pie
400 calories
15 g fat
29 g sugar

Don’t be fooled by the wholesome association with "mom." Think "Eve," instead, and eternal damnation. The crust that holds those innocent apple slices is fashioned from lard and refined flour, and the fruit floats in a thick ooze of sugar sludge. Pie has more calories than an 8 oz sirloin and more sugar than most candy bars — and that’s not even counting that big scoop of vanilla ice cream you’re likely to flop next to the slice.

STEPS TO GET OVER AN EX

* CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION. The more contact you have with an ex will keep you tied to that person. You should tell a person you can't see him/her because `I'm healing from this relationship. You're not trying to move on until you completely disconnect. It's counterproductive if you keep the communication going because it gives you the opportunity to backslide. You've got to be taking steps or you allow things to remain stagnant.

* DO NOT REMAIN FRIENDS. If you have children, you're no longer friends, but business associates. Only discuss the kids. When you remain friends there's still an emotional attachment to the drama. Friendship is the foundation of a relationship.

* DO NOT DATE. Give yourself at least 3 to 6 months to review in your heart and head what happened before you date. There is a grieving process. You shouldn't get into any serious dating or relationships because you need time to review and get back in touch with you. If you've been with a person for years, give yourself a year. It takes time to release a person from your energy field.

* DO NOT LISTEN TO SAD LOVE SONGS. Stay away from the oldies and slow jams for the first couple of months, because they tear your heart apart. People think slow songs are therapeutic, but they can be torturous.

* THINK ABOUT WHY YOU'RE NOT TOGETHER. There's a reason why you're not together. Focus on that reason.

* RID YOURSELF OF REMINDERS OF YOUR EX. Get rid of things that remind you of that person because everything holds energy. Cleanse your house so that it's a clean space because it holds spirit. Get rid of jewelry and mementos by giving them to another person or charity. Keeping items will keep you attached to that person. If you lived together, get rid of the bed because it too holds spirit.

* STOP TALKING ABOUT THE EX. When it's over, it's over. Even when friends and family want to talk about it, don't. Friends and family can't give you perspective because they will always be on your side. Words are powerful. The more you talk about it the more you're connected and it keeps that energy going.

* GET BUSY. Do things that are a service to others. Volunteer at a hospital or at the Red Cross. When you come out of a relationship, everything will remind you of that person. When you're of service to someone else, it takes your mind off of it so that person isn't in your head so much.

Controversy

So much controversy has swirled around my writings the past few days that very little attention ever gets paid to my motive. Friendships are all but forgotten. While I have no regrets regarding the choices I’ve made, I’ve learned to appreciate the idea of expressing myself in a more subtle way. When people whom you thought were your friends tend to backstab you by creating so much fuss about something which was totally misinterpreted, you then realize there are indeed the existence of people who would do anything just for the sake of something insignificant without thinking first of the consequences. My blogs are my opinion, my thoughts, and my way of venting out my angst. They are only meant to be read by people whom they are addressed to. To the person who sinisterly conveyed my opinion to the wrong person, my congratulations for showing your true colors. By the way, I know who you are. Just as I know the difference between something which is true and something that's just a lie. You need not worry, I’m not as malevolent and I won’t disclose your name. I believe people do have the ability to distinguish real people from rotten ones. This blog, in turn, is meant to be read by everyone--for your benefit, saving you the inconvenience of forwarding it to those who are not concerned.

This whole embroilment is not the only reason for me to relinquish my position, it is but one. Admittedly, it’s the last straw that broke the camel’s back.

To my friends who remained to defend me when some have questioned my actions, my deepest gratitude… I am forever grateful.

Gumbo

Just this afternoon, me and my friend were already seated at Savory Restaurant. Suddenly, I remembered that I saw this new resto on the new wing of Robinson's Ermita the last time we were there. So, I urged my friend that we stand up and settle for Gumbo instead (good thing we haven't ordered yet). And so we hurried up, leaving discreetly, and entered Gumbo. Most of the servings are good for two. We ordered the Grilled Porkchop Grande. My gulay!! Ang talap!!! =) The serving was split for two (the THIRD PLATE is already out of the frame if you'll notice, so the pic shows 1 of 2 servings). You can see on the pic that it's still enough to fill up a person's stomach. You have a choice of side dish to go along with the entree so I chose mashed potato and this rice which I forgot how they call it (hehehe). It will cost you a bit more expensive though. Around P200+ each, but it's worth the taste. I devoured the whole thing to think that there's rice and mashed potato which is already heavy to consume. Also, there's complementary hot wings (since they're still new)! =) Yum Yum...

They also have a branch at MOA according to the very friendly attendant. =)

MY LOVE CHARACTER-THE DREAMER

blodyn just took the "What is Your Love Character?" quiz and the result is The Dreamer.

You are addicted to the idea of love. As an individual you are seductive and magnetic. You easily attract others with your sexuality & charisma People want to be with you… people want YOU. In your mind you know exactly what perfect love is ...and desire nothing less …you deserve it. You hunger for sensuality and crave intimacy. You adore simple expressions of love …like a soft kiss on the forehead …or the touch of a loving finger tip on your lips. However most of your loving is played out in your head. You tend to over-think issues relating to love ...often misinterpreting other’s motives in the process. You are very inventive in finding ways for people to show you how they feel ...and at time your need for confirmation backfires on you. You are seeking your ideal vision of love ...and cannot easily accept your partners imperfections. You can be very demanding in your expectations and can quickly discard anyone who does not meet your high standards. As a result, your love life is active but not fulfilling ...your relationships tend to be short lived or shallow. You may in a long term relationship but your are secretly yearning for more.

A Most Productive Day :)

Today has been a most productive day because…

1. I managed to get my super lazy class, Form 4I, to behave AND participate in today’s lesson. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, did their work. I’m so proud of them. And myself too hehe.
2. I spent some quality time with a few students from another class of mine. Listened to them. Gave some advice (Hah! I’m qualified to give advice! I feel so old!). Had a nice chat. Even sang Miley Cyrus’ “The Climb” with them. I’m so fun :)
3. Gave up my seat on the LRT for a woman with a baby. Ended up standing with a heavy bag AND a laptop bag (yes, there was a laptop in the laptop bag) for a full 40 minutes the whole way to Gombak.
4. Spent some time with Bahasa Baku Man, who is actually starting to sound more local now. Should I call him Lawyer Dude?

Worst Morning Ever

Why?
1. Didn't get enough sleep and woke up late.
2. Got into a bit off a tiff with the mother which involved her stopping my laundry in the middle of the wash and taking my wet clothes out of the washer just to spite me.
3. Accidentally cut my finger on a razor pretty badly.
4. Tripped over the phone on the way down the stairs.

Go ahead just leave, cant hold you, you're free.. You take all these things, if they mean so much for you. I gave you your dreams, cause you meant the world so did I deserve to be left here hurt You think I dont know you're out of control I ended up finding all of this from my boys. Oh you're stone cold, you said it aint so. You already know im not attached to material. What did i do, but give love to you,,, im just confused as i stand here and look at you. From head to feet, all that's not me, Go ahead keep the keys, thats not what i need from you. You think that you know you've made yourself cold How could you believe them over me, Im your man. You're out of control, how could you let go Dont you know Im not attached to material. Id given all up. Id given you too much.. But Im taking back my love My love, my love.. IM taking back my Love.. My Ode To Someone Who Made me Feel Unworthy Giving someone All ur love is never an assurance That they'll love you back.. Some people are just not meant to be ir ur life, no matter how much u want them to be... You hug him goodbye but its nothing, while all u want to do is hold on forever... I used to smile when i told people that you were mine. I cant even smile and say your name at the same time.. As much as i love you,, i have to say goodbye. coz i know you would be happier if i let you go. Missing you isnt the hardest part, knowing i once had you, is what breaks my heart.. I'll never forget the time we once shared, and i'll always remember how much you once cared. Its never easy to see you turning back but, i have to take the pain.. and cry all the way home coz i know... it will never be the same again.. i know when you leave, distance will keep us apart. But diatnace no matter how far, cant change these feelings in my heart.. One day, i will be able to look you in the eye without feeling the pain.. I hope in time, you will be happy as you call my name again.. i just have to say sorry for loving you this much.. Sorry i hated how much i loved you. Baby- I love You... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ A hundred days have made me older Since the last time that I saw your pretty face A thousand lies have made me colder And I don't think I can look at this the same All the miles that separate Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight, there's only you and me. The miles just keep rollin' As the people leave their way to say hello I've heard this life is overrated But I hope that it gets better as we go. I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me. Everything I know, and anywhere I go It gets hard but it won't take away my love And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done. It gets hard but it won't take away my love I'm here without you baby But you're still on my lonely mind I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time I'm here without you baby But you're still with me in my dreams And tonight girl, there's only you and me _--------------------------------------- --------------------------------- Roosters are very loyal individuals. They do not like dishonesty or mockery of any sort. They are blunt, up front and honest people and expect those around them to be the same. Roosters are happiest when they are surrounded by others, at a party or just a social gathering. They even enjoy the spotlight and will exhibit their charisma and wit in a minute. This star quality can be overbearing, for a Rooster expects you to listen to him while he speaks and can become agitated if you don't. Roosters do have a tendency to brag about themselves and their achievements and demand an attentive audience when doing so. _--------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- Roosters are very smart dressers, hard workers and dreamers. They have a tendency of speaking their minds all the time which isn't always a good thing! Positive traits.. forthright, brave, enthusiastic, loyal, hardworking, tenacious, resilient, adventurous, meticulous, prompt, astute, well-dressed, proficient, down-to-earth, gregarious, communicative, sensible, generous, charming, ebullient and terminally witty.. Roosters are generally pretty black or white when it comes to their feelings. They either like you, or they don't. There is no in between. Although they are vocal with opinions and ideas, Roosters are pretty tight-lipped about their personal emotions and feelings. They certainly don't wear their hearts on their sleeves. They are intensely private people who never kiss and tell. if u like my personality then dont bother to message me.. hehehee

I NEVER

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointin' out my wrongs
i never needed pain,i never needed strain.
My love for you was strong enough you should've known.
I never needed you for judgement
I never needed you to question what i spent
I never asked for help, I take care of myself, I don't know why you think you got a hold on me.
And it's a little in the conversations
There isn't anything that you can say.
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so look at me and listen to me because,

I don't want to
Stay another minute
I don't want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I've already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how i act to what i say
i never needed words, i never needed hurt, i never needed you to be there everyday
I'm sorry for the way i let go
Of everything i wanted when you came along
But i am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where i belong
And it's a little late for explanations
There isn't anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when i say baby

I don't want to
Stay another minute
I don't want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I've already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush

No more words
No more lies
No more crying ooh ooh
No more pain
No more hurt

PROUD OF IT!!!!!!1

Life is never that simple...neither had it been so complicated. People are the ones making it either ways. We live by our free will. We strive. We fight. We struggle. We survive. It's always like that.

One's sexuality/orientation cannot be denied. Who cares if you are GAY...BISEXUAL...STRAIGHT??? In this small world we live in...nothing is PERMANENT...Nobody's PERFECT they say...Yeah...NOBODY...if you get caught out in your closet...so what? YOu need not DENY it...instead, be PROUD of it. That's the LESSON I've learned after so much pretentions. It's so hard hiding in your closet. You cannot move. You cannot make any noise...or else EVERYTHING will be in chaos.

Live without PREOCCUPATIONS...

Move out from your COMFORT ZONE...

Live free...stay free...

Never mind what other people say...

You have a life of your own...

BE PROUD.

STAND UP.

and...

TAKE TIME to REFLECT...


If it's not yours, it will never be yours no matter how obsessed you are with it...But if in case, just in case...It's for you, It'll always be for you no matter how often you IGNORE it...

Live a LIFE...

Ang Buhay ni Boy Bastos

Got this from my email years ago, dated June 7, 2002 10:20 AM, from a bosconian. Super nakakatawa, mejo bastos nga lang, don't read nalang if you're sensitive to not-so-wholesome stuff. =)

ETO NA ... ANG BUHAY NI Boy Bastos ...

Bago pa man mabuo si Boy...

Sperm 1: pare, maghanda na tayo! malapit na tayong lumabas!
Sperm 2: oo nga pare. 1, 2! 1, 2!
Sperm 1: ayan na pare lalabas na tayo! SUGOOOOOOOD!...BALIK! TAE! TAE! TAE!

Sumunod na oras....

Sperm 1: pare, maghanda na tayo! malapit na uli tayong lumabas! Sperm 2: oo nga pare. 1, 2! 1, 2!
Sperm 1: ayan na pare lalabas na tayo! SUGOOOOOOOD!...BALIK! TONSIL! TONSIL!

At sa sumunod pa...

Sperm 1: pare, maghanda na tayo! malapit na uli tayong lumabas!
Sperm 2: oo nga pare. 1, 2! 1, 2!
Sperm 1: ayan na pare lalabas na tayo! SUGOOOOOOOD! *splat!* condom...

Sa kabutihang palad ay nabuo rin si Boy. at di nagtagal...

Nanay: honey!!! oras na! manganganak na ako!!!
Tatay: talaga honey? o teka lang! wag kang gagalaw! (biglang naghubad si
tatay at ipinasok nya ang kanyang batutoy sa batutay ni nanay!)
Nanay: honey! anong ginagawa mo???
Tatay: basta! akong bahala! ANAK! KUMAPIT KA! KUMAPIT KA!

Hindi umepekto ang "delivering the baby" style ni tatay, so dinala si nanay sa ospital...

Doc: ayan ho Mrs., nakalabas na ang ulo ng anak nyo!

Nabigla si doc ng ...

Boy Bastos: hoy! ikaw ba tatay ko?
Doc: hindi! hindi ako ang tatay mo! nurse halika dito dali!

Nang dumating ang lalaking nurse...

Boy Bastos: hoy! ikaw ba tatay ko?
Nurse: naku! hindi ako ang tatay mo! teka tatawagin ko sya!

Nang dumating si tatay...

Boy Bastos: hoy! ikaw ba tatay ko?
Tatay: oo anak! ako nga!
Boy Bastos: (sinundot-sundot and noo ng tatay) masarap ba yan ha? masarap?!!!!?

Isang araw, nung mga three years old na si Boy Bastos, sabay sila naligo ng tatay niya nang mapansin niyo yung etits ng kanyang tatay.

Boy Bastos: Tay, ano po yan?
Tatay: A, eto, a, eh, ano to ? ah ?.. (nahiya pa ang gago)
Boy Bastos: Yan pong nakalawit na yan?
Tatay: A, anak, eh, lumpia to.
Boy Bastos: Tangnang lumpia yan, mukhang tite!!!

Kinagabihan ..... nakita ni Boy na dinidilaan ng nanay nya ang betlog ng tatay nya...

Boy Bastos: nay, anong ginagawa mo?
Nanay: ah, anak, kumakain lang ako ng bola-bola.
Boy Bastos: antakaw mo naman nay! may bola-bola ka na nga, may lumpia ka pa!

Nung hapon na nakita nya ang boobs ng kanyang nanay

Boy Bastos: nay ano yan?
Nanay: wala anak, salbabida ang mga to.
Boy Bastos: pwede ko bang gamitin yan sa beach bukas?
Nanay: hindi pwede anak kasi gagamitin ko.
Boy Bastos: eh di yung kay yaya nalang.
Nanay: hindi pwede anak. walang hangin yun e.
Boy Bastos: imposible nay! ka-iihip lang ni tatay kagabi e!

Nang mga 4 years old naman si Boy Bastos, aksidenteng nakita niya ang bulbol ng nanay niya.

Boy Bastos: Nay ano po iyan? Bat may buhok kayo diyan?
Nanay: Ah anak, wala iyan. Walis iyan.
Boy Bastos: Tangina kaya pala kagabi nakita ko yung katulong natin winawalis yung mukha ni tatay.

Nagtanong ang nanay ni Boy sa kanya...

Nanay: anak bat ayaw mong magpaligo sa yaya mo?
Boy Bastos: e kasi nakakatakot sya! nakita ko kahapon nung pinapaliguan nya si itay...
Nanay: o anong nakakatakot dun?
Boy Bastos: eh...nangangagat ng titi e!

Di nagtagal ay pumasok na si Boy sa eskuwelahan at di rin nagtagal ay nakilala na sya bilang Boy Bastos...

Teacher: class, ang gagawin natin ay, magsasabi ako ng letter at magsasabi kayo ng word na nag-uumpisa dito. okay, letter a!
Boy Bastos: mam ako! mam!
Teacher: ayoko sayo Bastos ka e...okay, Nene?
Nene: mam apple!
Teacher: very good! next letter b!
Boy Bastos: mam! ako mam!
Teacher: ayoko sayo Bastos ka e...

Nag-isip ngayon si teacher ng letter na walang maiisip na kabastusan.

Teacher: ok, letter z! o sige na nga Boy, letter z.
Boy: mam zebra.
Teacher: very good! Ayan hindi na pala Bastos si Boy.
Boy Bastos: PERO 16 INCHES YUNG TITI !

Kumakain ng mani si Boy...

Boy: Nene, gusto mo ng mani?
Nene: ayoko, tinitigyawat ako sa mani e...
Boy: ah ganon ba? ako sa mukha.

Nasa isang mall si Boy Bastos nang bigla siyang ma-jingle. Pumunta siya sa pinakamalapit na CR pero sarado ang men's room. Dahil desperado, sa women's room na lang siya nag-CR. Nang palabas siya, nahuli siya ng janitor.

Janitor: Hoy, bakit dito ka umihe, hindi mo ba alam na pambabae itong CR na to?

Inilabas ni Boy Bastos ang tite at ipinakita sa janitor.

Boy Bastos: E bakit ito, hindi ba ito pambabae?

Crush ni Boy si Nene kaya di nya ito tinitigilan ?.... sinisiko ni Boy si Nene

Nene: mam! si Boy o! sinisiko ako!
Teacher: Boy Bastos! alam mo bang masakit ang maniko?
Boy Bastos: e mam, bat pa kayo pumasok?

Isang hapon, niyakag ni Boy Bastos maglaro si Nene

Boy: uy, Nene, laro tayo ng "wag wag"
Nene: anong "wag wag"?
Boy: ganito lang...maghubad ka tapos papatong ako sayo...tapos isisigaw mo, "wag! wag!"

Binata na si Boy, at nanliligaw sya kay Nene...isang gabi, naiwan si Boy at si Neneng nag-iisa sa bahay...

Boy Bastos: sige na Nene, pagbigyan mo na ako.
Nene: Boy wag ayoko...
Boy Bastos: sige na...

Biglang nagbrownout...

Boy Bastos: o ipapasok ko na ha?
Nene: wag Boy ang sakit! aaaaaaaa!

Sumindi uli ang ilaw. dugu-dugo ang ilong ni Nene.

Isang hapon, naglalaro ng tong-its si Boy Bastos at ang iba nyang mga kaibigan. Nandun sila sa bahay ng kaibigan nyang si Pedro. Problema lang,
ang kulit-kulit ng anak ni Pedro na limang taon pa lang. Sinisilip nya ang
baraha ng mga naglalaro at sinisigaw akung ano yung baraha, kaya nasisira yung laro nila. Dahil dito, na-bad trip na talaga si Boy Bastos, kaya hinila nya yung bata at dinala nya sa kwarto. After 15 minutes, bumalik si Boy Bastos sa mesa, na hindi na kasama yung bata.
Tuloy sila nang laro. Natapos yung session nila nang madaling araw na.
Napansin nila na mula nung dinala ni Boy Bastos sa kwarto yung bata, hindi na
bumalik para mangulit. Nagtanong si Pedro tungkol sa anak nya, "Boy Bastos, anong ginawa mo sa anak ko, pa'no mo napatigil sa pangungulit?"

"Andun sa kwarto, tinuruan kong mag-jakol."

Naguusap si Boy at ang tatay nya...

Tatay: Boy, anong gusto mong gawin paglaki mo?
Boy: parang ginagawa mo tay!
Tatay: ang galing naman ng anak ko! gusto ring mag-abogado!
Boy: hindi tay! gusto ko ring tumira ng katulong!

Isang araw ng malapit ng ikasal si Boy Bastos

Tatay: Anak, eto pera, sumibak ka muna para magka-experience ka bago ka ikasal.. Maraming pokpok dyan sa palengke.

Habang papunta na si Boy Bastos sa Palengke para maghanap ng pokpok, nakita siya ng lola niyang malibog.

Lola: Boy Bastos apo ko, san ba iho ang lakad mo?
Boy Bastos: Dyan lang po sa palengke. Binigyan ako ng pera ng tatay para kumantot ng pokpok.
Lola: Bigay mo na lang sa 'kin ang kalahati at ako na lang ang sibakin mo iho.

Pag-uwi ni Boy Bastos sa Bahay ay abot tenga ang ngiti ng gago at kinausap agad ang tatay.

Boy Bastos: Tay, nakasibak na ko. Nagpasibak sa kin si lola. Kalahati pa bayad. May pambili pa ko ng bold na tabloid.
Tatay: Ano? Tangina mo bakit mo sinibak nanay ko?
Boy Bastos: Tangina mo rin ikaw nga araw-araw mo sinisibak nanay ko. Minsan sa pwet pa!

Di naglaon ay ikinasal rin sina Boy at Nene... sa honeymoon

Boy Bastos: o Nene, mag ano na tayo!
Nene: sorry Boy ha? meron ako ngayon e.
Boy Bastos: lang ya naman o...sa pwet nalang!
Nene: Boy nagtatae rin ako e.
Boy Bastos: bad trip...sa bibig?
Nene: inuubo ako e...*ahem! ahem!*
Boy Bastos: putang ina wag mong sabihing may sipon ka rin?!

Nagka-anak sina Boy at Nene, isang lalaki at isang babae. binata't dalaga na sila...

Nene jr.: tay, peram naman ng kotse o...
Boy Bastos: sige pero isang kondisyon. mag-ano muna tayo.
Nene jr.: tay meron ako ngayon e. blowjob nalang kita.
Boy Bastos: o sige.

pagkatapos ng blowjob...

Nene jr.: tay, bat lasang tae yung etits nyo?
Boy Bastos: ah ganon ba? hiniram kasi ng kuya mo kanina yung kotse e!

Lumipas ang mga taon at naging pulis si Boy at sa complaint desk sya
naka-assign...

Babae: ser, tulungan nyo ho ako...ginahasa ho ako! huhuhu...
Boy Bastos: isalaysay mo sa akin ang nangyari iha...yung detalyado ha?
babae: opo...hinoldap po ako ng isang mama, tapos po ay dinala nya ako sa
isang liblib na lugar. dun po ay hinalik-halikan niya ako. Pagkatapos ay
inumpisahan nya akong hubaran. Una, ang palda ko. Tapos po ang blouse. At ng naka bra at panty na lang ako ay sinalat po nya ang aking...
Boy Bastos: TAMA NA! TAMA NA! sa kabila ka na mag file ng complaint!
babae: bakit ho ser?
Boy Bastos: tinitigasan na ako!

Hindi nagtagal sa pagiging pulis si Boy at nagtrabaho na lang sa isang restaurant bilang isang waiter. Habang kinukuha ang order ng isang customer, natabig ng customer ang kutsara niya. Agad namang dumukot sakanyang bulsa si Boy Bastos ng kutsara sa bulsa niya. Nabilib ang
customer.

Customer: Astig ah! Lahat ba kayong waiter dito, merong kutsarang ready sa bulsa?
Boy Bastos: Opo. Meron kasi kaming "efficiency expert" dito. Sabi niya, 23.6% ng mga customer, natatabig ang mga kutsara. Para makatipid sa oras ng lakad, meron na kaming ready na kutsara sa bulsa.

Natapos nang kumain ang customer at kinuha niya na ang chit niya. Napansin niyang merong nakalabas na tali mula sa zipper ni Boy Bastos.

Customer: Bakit ka merong tali diyan sa zipper mo?

Boy Bastos: Lahat kaming waiter dito, merong ganyan. Nakakabit yan sa ari namin, para pag-iihe kami, hindi na namin kailangang hawakan para ilabas. Sabi kasi nung "efficiency expert" namin, 15.6% ng oras ang nauubos sa pag-hugas ng kamay pagkagaling sa CR.

Customer: Matanong ko lang, pa'no mo ibinabalik yung ari mo sa pantalon?
Boy Bastos: Ewan ko lang sa ibang waiter ha, pero ako ginagamit ko yung kutsara.

Matanda na si Boy Bastos at binata na ang kanyang anak. Pinayagan niya na itong maghanap ng asawa, ngunit sa isang kondisyon: kailangan niyang humanap ng asawang inosesnte pa. Naisip ng anak niya na upang makakita siya ng inosente, ipapapakita niya ang kanyang etits sa babae at titingnan ang reaction nito. Nalibot niya ang buong mundo, ngunit hindi siya makakita ng babaeng hindi alam kung ano yun. Ngunit isang araw, nakakita siya ng
babaeng mukhang inosente at ipinakita niya yung kanyang tite.

Anak: Ano to?
Babae: Uod, uod.
So, naisip niya, inosente nga ito, akala niya uod yung nakita niya. At inuwi niya yung babae sa bahay para ipakilala kay Boy Bastos. Para maipakitang inosente nga, pinakita niya ulit yung tite niya, this time sa harap ni Boy Bastos.

Anak: Ano to?
Babae: Uod, uod.

At nabilib si Boy Bastos, aba, inosente nga. Kaya sinubukan din ni Boy Bastos yung babae at ipinakita niya ang kanyang ari.

Boy Bastos: Ano to?
Babae: PUTANG INA, YAN ANG TITE!!!

Isang araw, dahil sa sobrang Bastos ni Boy Bastos, kinulam siya ng isang mangkukulam (siyempre, ano pa ba yung kukulam sa kanya) at pinaliit ang
tite niya. Naging ga-munggo na lang yung tite niya!!! Isang taon daw siyang magiging ganito. Ngayon, syempre na bad-trip siya, kase pare tangna naman, kahit sino kulamin mo at gawing
ga-munggo lang yung tite eh ma-ba bad trip, diba? Kaya siyempre nagtanong-tanong siya sa mga matatanda sa kanya kung paano maaalis yung kulam sa kanya.

Sabi ng lola niya, "Ahh, alam ko na. Pumunta ka sa ikapitong gubat ng ikapitong bundok pagkatawid ng ikapitong ilog. Doon, meron kang makikitang matandang ermitanyo. Ngayon, merong ipapagawa sa yo yung ermitanyo, tapos, pwede ka nang mag-wish."

Kaya pumunta si Boy Bastos sa ikapitong gubat ng ikapitong bundok pagkatawid ng ikapitong ilog. Pagdating niya doon, meron siyang nakitang matandang unano na nakaupo sa isang bato. Kinausap ito ni Boy Bastos.

Boy Bastos: A, eh, mama, kayo ho ba yung matandang ermitanyo?
Matanda: Oo, amang, ako nga yon.
Boy Bastos: E, pwede niyo ho ba akong tulungan?
Matanda: Oo, pero meron ipapagawa muna ako sa yo.
Boy Bastos: Ano po iyon?
Matanda: Pwede ba kitang tirahin sa pwet?

(Sandali, hindi pa yun yung joke!)

Nag-isip si Boy Bastos. Hindi naman siguro malaki yung tite nitong matandang to, eh wala pa atang 3 feet tong unanong to e. Kesa naman isang taong ga-munggo yung titi niya diba.

Boy Bastos: Sige ho payag na ko!
Matanda: O sige, tuwad na!

Tumuwad si Boy Bastos. Inilabas ng matanda yung titi niya, nagulat si Boy Bastos dahil, putang ina pare kasing laki ng dalawang brasong pinagdikit ung tite ng matandang unano. Sige tsong, ipagdikit mo yung mga braso mo. Yung mga kamao mo, ganyan kalaki yung ulo nung etits ng malibog na matandang bakla.

Hindi na nakahindi si Boy Bastos dahil naunahan na siya ng matanda. Binanatan ng matanda yung pwet ni Boy Bastos nang halos tatlong oras non-stop! Siguro, ngayon, pagkatapos nito, wala nang tunog ang utot ni Boy Bastos. Wala nang friction eh. Pagkatapos, kinausap ni Boy Bastos ang matanda na abot-tenga ang ngiti.

Boy Bastos: Eh, mama, ngayon ho, pwede na ba akong mag-wish?
Matanda: Ala eh, amang naman, pagkatanda mo na e naniniwala ka pa sa mga "wish."

This wat i want

i want to meet someone very genuine... someone who could make me laugh, knows the proper way of how and when to throw jokes... full of sence of humor... but knows how to be serious when needed... in other words good conversationalist... knows a something about history, current events, business, politics, and general knowledge, showbiz, economics, banking, finance, science, food and beverages, home, architecture, arts, travel, movies, games, sports, gadgets * technologies, religion, education,medicine, law, or fashion... Some one who fears GOD, family oriented and loves children... responsible, thoughtful, generous, and kind hearted... being sporty and playing any kind of musical instrument will be a bonus points... but most of all i want to meet someone who could love me for who i am and for who I'm not...

ang Gusto Kong Boyfriend

1. SUPER SWEET. yung tipong mag i ilove you sken kahit na marinig pa ng ibang tao, wala siyang pakialam.

2. CUTE MAGSELOS. bigla na lang hindi kikibo tapos ayaw pang kumain.haha then, mya mya makikiusap na wag ko ng kausapin ung dude na pinagselosan nya.

3. EXCLUSIVELY MINE. yung kahit na may magpa kyut na ibang chix eh, suplado mode pa din siya at palagi pa nyang papa alala na ako lang ang "one and only" nya.

4. MAKIKI TEXT PA SA IBA. kapag naubusan siya ng load kasi ayaw nya akong mag worry kung asan na siya.

5. RESPECTS ME. hahayaan pa din nya akong magdesisyon pagdating sa sarili ko or if I wanna have quality time with my friends...maiintindihan nya yun...

6. HINDI MASYADONG MA PRIDE lalo na kapag may tampuhan kme, at alam nyang siya yung may mali... he knows how to say "IM SORRY" and mean it.

7. FULL OF SURPRISES yung bigla nya na lang ako bibigyan ng roses or chocl8's to remind me how much he loves me.

8. ADDICTED TO ME. and ny hugs and kisses tapos kahit nag uusap kame bigla na lng mang halik kci daw super soft and sweet ng lips ko.

9. HONEST AND TRUSTWORTHY. gusto ko yung walang tendency na mag cheat kci"what is love w/o trust? dba.

10. GENTLEMAN yung pag inabutan kme ng ulan aalisin nya yung jacket nya at iyayakap nya sken,

11. CAN PROTECT ME. hindi siya palaaway pero kapag may nang away sken, he's capable of kicking their aSs.

12. WILL CRY TO ME. yung hindi sya mahihiyang ipakita yung vulnerable side nya kapag may problema sya.

13. LOVES ME THE WAY I AM. yung hindi nya ako icocompare sa iba, and instead he'll make me feel na " I am the best partner/boyfriend" he's ever had...

if that is you... then you are what i'm looking for..

feel free to send me a message... and please do sign on my guestbook, thanks

AKO MISMO

Ano ang gagawin mo para matulungan ang Pilipinas?

A Symbol of Courage

Primarily used to identify soldiers during war or battle, the dog tag has become a symbol of courage and strength through the years.

Now, Ako Mismo is using the dog tag in its advertising campaign to identify the brave Filipinos who are taking a stand against apathy; those who have decided to fight the indifference that is plaguing our country. No more complaints, no more excuses. Wearing the Ako Mismo dog tag is a sign of the commitment to do something, big or small, for the country.

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AKO MISMO is about YOU!

Making a stand and taking real action for the causes you believe in. Causes that you yourself can truly pursue to make a real, positive difference to your fellow countryman, to your country.

It is for you who still dare to hope that life for millions doesn't have to be a hopeless battle against problems like poverty, illiteracy, unemployment.

It is for you who believe that not enough is being done about our country's problems. And that to do right things, you'll do them yourself.

It is a movement where you can show your patriotism and compassion, and make these traits infectious.

Its about action that eradicates hopelessness in every Filipino.

How hard will this be to accomplish? Well that will be entirely up to you.

In AKO MISMO you get to choose the cause you wish to pursue. No cause is too small as long as it is a noble one. All we ask is that you make a pledge to do it.

You yourself can pledge anything: from teaching English to your yayas kid, to making sure that your barangay is dengue-free.

Or make a pledge to do your part in ending corruption, prostitution, illegal drugs or the inhumane treatment of animals. The choice is yours.

No matter how small, as long as you pledge that you yourself will take action, its sure to make a big difference.

Giving more hope for Filipinos to stop merely surviving, and start living. And it starts with you.

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yesterday. nanunuod kame ng mga sister ko ng tv nung lumabas yung commercial nito. since OL ako that time, nag reg kami :) kakatuwa nga kc ang bilis dumami ng mga members ilang seconds palang nung pinakita yung commercial thousands na yung nag sign up, w/c is good kasi it only means na every filipino wants to share or to do something that will help their country. siyempre as a filipino. gusto ko din maging part nito ! AKO MISMO ang kikilos para sa bayan ko !

Simulan mo ang pagkilos tungo sa muling pagbangon ng Pilipinas. Maliit man o malaki, ikaw mismo ang magsasabi kung ano ang gagawin mo.